I’m practically in tears right now. This disorders tearing me apart. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been pulling nonstop for the last couple hours. I looked in the mirror to see the damage and it’s pretty bad right now. I’ve been crying for help but no one can hear me… I have no one to turn to in moments like these. I feel afraid of myself. If I didn’t get myself to stop just now, I don’t think I would’ve stopped at all.
Why me? Why can’t I stop pulling?
This disorder is destroying my life, and I don’t have anyone to turn to.
I need help before it gets any worse than it already is.
You you do have people to turn to. It sounds like you have some people already in your corner. Your husband, your mother-in-law. Question though, have you spoken to your family doctor yet? And if not, you would be surprised how much your university/college probably has to offer in the way of help. And you are doing something now, reaching out to us, albeit strangers, but we do understand and there are lots of resources and options. I have come to terms with the unfortunate fact that I will pull until I die, but I can manage it and I can live with it, but I takes a lot of work. I have found ways that work for me. I am on Zoloft for my depression, and although it has not stopped the trich, I think it does help in controlling it a little. And you know? You have a really good reason to deal with this. Your daughter. Listen to your inner voice and reach out to a doctor or a local counselling center.
Thank you so much. I’m hoping that when I move, I can start over. I found a psychiatrist in my health plan a few blocks down from where I’m going, so I’m going to start therapy/medication by May. It’s mainly times like these when I’m so alone. Even with my family, they can’t be there for me every second of the day. And for that time they’re not present, I have trouble finding my inner strength. I’m starting to believe, as well, that I may just have to live with this for the rest of my life. But if continuously crying, trying, and struggling to get myself to eventually stop one day (or limit it to a minimal amount) then it’s worth it. I don’t wanna live my life giving into these impulses if there’s a chance that I can someday get a handle over it.